diff --git a/app/controllers/static_controller.rb b/app/controllers/static_controller.rb
index eb76bb990..64161eb14 100644
--- a/app/controllers/static_controller.rb
+++ b/app/controllers/static_controller.rb
@@ -49,12 +49,6 @@ class StaticController < ApplicationController
     redirect_back fallback_location: posts_path
   end
 
-  def dont_fool_me
-    cookies[:dont_fool_me] = { value: "1", expires: 1.week }
-    flash[:notice] = "òwō"
-    redirect_back fallback_location: posts_path
-  end
-
   def discord
     unless CurrentUser.can_discord?
       raise User::PrivilegeError.new("You must have an account for at least one week in order to join the Discord server.")
diff --git a/app/helpers/application_helper.rb b/app/helpers/application_helper.rb
index 43342b58b..65109d894 100644
--- a/app/helpers/application_helper.rb
+++ b/app/helpers/application_helper.rb
@@ -44,58 +44,14 @@ module ApplicationHelper
   end
 
   def format_text(text, **options)
-    something_funny = options[:fool] && fool?
-    options = options.except(:fool)
     # preserve the currrent inline behaviour
     if options[:inline]
       dtext_ragel(text, **options)
     else
-      result = %(<div class="styled-dtext">#{dtext_ragel(text, **options)}</div>)
-      if something_funny
-        raw uwuify(result)
-      else
-        raw result
-      end
+      raw %(<div class="styled-dtext">#{dtext_ragel(text, **options)}</div>)
     end
   end
 
-  def fool?
-    return false if Danbooru.config.app_name == "e926"
-    return false if cookies[:dont_fool_me]
-
-    Time.use_zone(Time.find_zone("UTC")) do
-      target = Date.new(2024, 4, 1)
-      start = target.beginning_of_day - 12.hours
-      stop = target.end_of_day + 6.hours
-      Time.now.between?(start, stop)
-    end
-  end
-
-  FACE_CHANCE = 0.25
-  FACE = [" (・`ω´・) ", " ;;w;; ", " owo ", " UwU ", " >w< ", " ^w^ "].freeze
-
-  def uwuify(html_input)
-    fragment = Nokogiri::HTML5.fragment(html_input)
-
-    fragment.traverse do |x|
-      if x.text?
-        text = x.content.tr("rlRL", "wwWW")
-        text = text.gsub(/(n)([aeiou])/i, '\1y\2')
-        text = text.gsub("ove", "uv")
-        text = text.gsub(/(\.+)/) do
-          if Random.rand < FACE_CHANCE
-            FACE.sample
-          else
-            $1
-          end
-        end
-        x.content = text
-      end
-    end
-
-    fragment.to_html
-  end
-
   def custom_form_for(object, *args, &)
     options = args.extract_options!
     simple_form_for(object, *(args << options.merge(builder: CustomFormBuilder)), &)
diff --git a/app/views/blips/partials/show/_blip.html.erb b/app/views/blips/partials/show/_blip.html.erb
index d967a84bc..9ae45903a 100644
--- a/app/views/blips/partials/show/_blip.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/blips/partials/show/_blip.html.erb
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
         <h6><%= link_to "In response to blip ##{blip.response_to}", blip_path(id: blip.response_to) %> </h6>
       <% end %>
       <div class="body dtext-container">
-        <%= format_text(blip.body, allow_color: blip.creator.is_privileged?, fool: true) %>
+        <%= format_text(blip.body, allow_color: blip.creator.is_privileged?) %>
       </div>
       <%= render "application/update_notice", record: blip %>
       <%= render "application/warned_notice", record: blip %>
diff --git a/app/views/comments/partials/show/_comment.html.erb b/app/views/comments/partials/show/_comment.html.erb
index 823430c91..537ef5137 100644
--- a/app/views/comments/partials/show/_comment.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/comments/partials/show/_comment.html.erb
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
     </div>
     <div class="content">
       <div class="body dtext-container">
-        <%= format_text(comment.body, allow_color: comment.creator.is_privileged?, fool: true) %>
+        <%= format_text(comment.body, allow_color: comment.creator.is_privileged?) %>
       </div>
       <%= render "application/update_notice", record: comment %>
       <%= render "application/warned_notice", record: comment %>
diff --git a/app/views/forum_posts/_forum_post.html.erb b/app/views/forum_posts/_forum_post.html.erb
index 011c11283..bb1de1552 100644
--- a/app/views/forum_posts/_forum_post.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/forum_posts/_forum_post.html.erb
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
     </div>
     <div class="content">
       <div class="dtext-container">
-        <%= format_text(parse_embedded_tag_request_text(forum_post.body), allow_color: forum_post.creator.is_privileged?, fool: true) %>
+        <%= format_text(parse_embedded_tag_request_text(forum_post.body), allow_color: forum_post.creator.is_privileged?) %>
       </div>
       <%= render "application/update_notice", record: forum_post %>
       <%= render "application/warned_notice", record: forum_post %>
diff --git a/app/views/static/theme.html.erb b/app/views/static/theme.html.erb
index 503b65b7a..f252c29fc 100644
--- a/app/views/static/theme.html.erb
+++ b/app/views/static/theme.html.erb
@@ -7,13 +7,6 @@
   <h3 class="redtext" id="no_save_warning">Your device does not allow the site to save theme settings.</h3>
 </noscript>
 
-<% if fool? %>
-  <p>
-    Click <%= link_to "here", dont_fool_me_static_path %> to kill the joke early.
-  </p>
-<% end %>
-
-
 <div class="simple_form">
   <div class="input">
     <label for="theme_name">Theme</label>
diff --git a/config/routes.rb b/config/routes.rb
index 5f93426ce..2da5b48a0 100644
--- a/config/routes.rb
+++ b/config/routes.rb
@@ -444,7 +444,6 @@ Rails.application.routes.draw do
   post "/static/discord" => "static#discord", as: "discord_post"
   get "/static/toggle_mobile_mode" => "static#disable_mobile_mode", as: "disable_mobile_mode"
   get "/static/theme" => "static#theme", as: "theme"
-  get "/static/dont_fool_me" => "static#dont_fool_me", as: "dont_fool_me_static"
   get "/meta_searches/tags" => "meta_searches#tags", :as => "meta_searches_tags"
 
   root :to => "static#home"